Fear has been my greatest teacher…what about you?
Is fear the driving force in your life? Do you have that voice of fear or doubt that can turn a perfectly wonderful day upside down? For most people, fear is what holds them back from living a peaceful and fulfilled life. Yet, despite its challenges, it can be one of our greatest teachers. It’s been mine and today I couldn’t be more grateful. Did you know our psyche’s foundation is actually built on fear of pain and our wounds from the past? In fact, research tells us that we cling to the very thing we wish to be released from. People are attached to fear and actually put it in the driver’s seat of their life. Hence, they’re also putting pain and suffering there as well. As a result, we end up spending our lives trying to avoid perceived threats that ultimately control our lives! Does fear control your life? What do you do, on a daily basis, to protect yourself from fear of…maybe rejection, judgement, blame, etc.? Do you ever say yes when you need or want to say no? What’s it costing you? You just might be surprised. These seemingly routine things we do that so often go unnoticed can take a real toll on our life and well-being.
So, what is fear to you? Have you ever thought about it?
It’s important to know what it looks like in your life, so you recognize it when it shows up. In that way, you can take back your authority. Fear certainly shouldn’t be in charge of you and your life. It would be like putting a child in the driver’s seat of your car. They wouldn’t mean to wreck, but it’s not going to turn out well. With that being said, let’s take a closer look at fear. Fear is an unpleasant emotion or negative energy caused by the belief that there’s a physical or emotional threat that will likely cause pain. It’s also the absence of love, a closed heart, as well as wound blockages inside us that make us weak. Fear is draining, and it can literally suck the life out of us if we let it.
What’s equally important is to know what fear isn’t.
Fear is not love, nor is it a state of inner peace; it isn’t contentment, fulfillment, joy, or freedom. It isn’t who we are either. The truth is, most fear is our way of resisting what is. So, now let’s look at fear realistically. Fear is just information. It’s just a thing, it’s not you. So, what is this thing we’re afraid of?
Most often, today we’re afraid of: failure, success, dying or harm, humiliation, rejection or separation, emotional intimacy or being vulnerable, public speaking, loss of control, heights, darkness, spiders, being unlovable, unworthy, or not enough, etc. And believe it or not, our greatest challenge of all is fearing fear itself.
So, what frightens you, terrifies, or paralyzes you? When you are frightened, what do you do with fear?
One of the best acronyms to describes our inner state and what we most want to do is: Forget Everything And Run! Right?! It’s no surprise that we want to run. Avoiding pain is a normal response, but unfortunately it only makes the pain worse. Our psychological pain is telling us we’re not ok inside and unfortunately, not being ok inside is the norm today. So, how do you handle fear when it shows up?
Let’s look at another acronym that’s helpful in understanding what fear really is. Fear is: False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear is the evidence that the ego mind is creating problems that really don’t exist. It’s trying to protect us by creating problems out of what has already happened or what hasn’t happened yet i.e., past & future, which only results in more fear and emotional pain. It doesn’t protect us at all.
The job we’ve given our ego mind is impossible.
It can’t protect us from reality; nothing can and that’s why it’s so noisy in there. The voice of fear or worry is working hard 24/7 to avoid pain at all cost. There are times the disturbance gets so loud, it seems like it will never shut up! But it’s just doing its job. If you don’t like it, you can fire it. You can say no. Why not? You can take over and let it go. We don’t need protection from reality. We just need acceptance, i.e., acceptance of the uncertainty in life and impermanence we don’t like nor want to accept. Knowing and accepting reality is healthy, healing & very freeing.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” President Franklin D. Roosevelt.
So, next time you feel fear, remember to take back your authority & try this…
First, recognize the fear, then relax, take a deep conscious breath, open your heart in love, release it, & rise above. You’ll be so glad you did.
Remember to return for Part 2 on discovering how to overcome fear.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this blog. Please share it with someone else. It may be exactly what they need to hear to be free too. Come back for next month’s blog and…
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About the Author – Trina Carroll-Houk is a spiritual teacher, counselor, and founder of Breaking Free Boundaries, LLC who specializes in self-awareness, mindfulness, and the spiritual dimension of being. Her goal is to help people improve their quality of life so they can experience inner peace, meaningful purpose, and fulfillment. Trina represents a movement focused on helping people release what limits them from transforming into awakened beings with a higher sense of spiritual consciousness.
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