Taking responsibility for all aspects of our lives, regardless of what has happened in the past, is one of the most important things we can do to improve our quality of life. Whatever kind of life we want to live, we need to know that no one will give it to us nor take it away from us…because we are solely responsible for our life. Taking responsibility for everything that happens to us and acknowledging we’re the cause of any problems we experience…is the first step we must take if we want authority in our life. When we know our life situations are a result of our decisions and actions this makes change possible.

One of the strongest indicators of someone not taking responsibility for their life…is the tendency to blame others for everything that’s wrong in their life. When we fault something or someone else, such as the economy, parents, partners, bosses, and more, we rob ourselves of the power to act.

Did you know that making someone or something responsible for our suffering in life also makes them responsible for our happiness? When we allow ourselves to be easy prey and at the mercy of the outside forces, we become victims. Refusing to take responsibility, regardless of our life situations, renders us powerless. Yes, we give away our authority. Remember this…no one is responsible for our thoughts, feelings, words, or actions…ever.

Know this for sure…taking responsibility is one of the key growth steps to fully realizing and living our true potential as our true authentic self. When we take ownership and responsibility for our actions and decisions, we gain the authority to shape our lives and achieve our dreams. Thus, it’s up to us to take the first step.

Taking responsibility means accepting that we are in charge of our life, and we are willing to take ownership of our actions as well as the results they produce. It’s about understanding that we can choose our thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and reactions, regardless of our situation. We all want to be free, yet when we choose freedom…we must also choose responsibility.

In life, we often strive for authority and power, whether it be in our personal or professional lives. However, we tend to forget that true authority comes from taking responsibility for our actions and decisions. At times, we may be tempted to blame others or external factors for our circumstances. However, notice that taking responsibility for our actions and decisions is a powerful tool for personal and spiritual growth. When we take responsibility, we acknowledge that we have control over our lives and can make positive changes. By taking ownership, we can learn from our challenges to become more peaceful and free.

Research tells us that people with inner authority to control the trajectory of their lives tend to be:

• healthier
• happier
• more independent
• successful

Let’s continue by understanding what responsibility is, why it matters, and how we can gain the authority we want in our lives. The word responsibility means the ability to respond (response-ability). It’s the ability to choose our response. Taking responsibility opens our eyes to the truth. In other words, it gives us the ability to see and experience reality. Taking responsibility for our actions means we recognize the areas of our life that we can control to make the positive changes we desire. It also means accepting and going beyond the things we can’t control, without placing blame or making excuses. In other words, we take responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, words, actions, circumstances, and their impact.

Everything in our lives is our sole responsibility. We all have the power to change our situation. The first step is to take responsibility for it regardless of the circumstances. We must make a conscious decision to steer ourselves in a new direction. Taking responsibility for our life takes us from the passenger’s seat to the driver’s seat. Rather than simply following life and our thoughts wherever they take us, we can take the wheel to start determining the direction of our life. Notice, inner boundaries are essential in this process.  

Responsibility empowers us to take control of our future…to live our best life. By taking responsibility, we gain a sense of control over our lives and decisions, giving us the power to influence our future. In essence, taking responsibility is not only a sign of maturity and integrity, but also one of the essential keys to discovering our true authority and potential. In this way, we can do our part to become the change we all want to see in the world.

When we’re responsible for our life, we no longer wait around for someone or something to fix our life nor do we make excuses or blame our situation on something or someone. When we take personal responsibility, we can live life on our own terms. We create the kind of life we’ve always wanted. Authority is returned to us where it rightfully belongs. Know this for sure…we should never allow a situation or a person to determine our inner state of being (i.e., our mental, emotional & physical well-being). Further, we shouldn’t be waiting for the outside to fix our upset on the inside. It doesn’t work. It can’t. That’s our job.

“The moment you take responsibility for everything in your life is the moment you can change anything in your life.” ~ Hal Elrod

Taking responsibility in our life brings positive results. Yet…how can we reverse course? Consider the following:

• Take ownership & responsibility to regain authority.
• End blaming, complaining, and excuses.
• Be accountable.
• Take steps to quiet the mind.

When we take responsibility for our actions, we gain authority over our lives and achieve our goals. By acknowledging our mistakes and learning from them, we become better equipped to face challenges and overcome the obstacles we face. This is the evidence that we’re being accountable for our actions and we’re willing to learn from our challenges. We all do the best we can with what we know at the time, and we can’t live beyond our level of growth. So remember, when we know better…we do better. Isn’t it time we give ourselves and others grace to grow?

So, how can we know if we’re not taking responsibility? When we’re avoiding responsibility, we tend to behave in certain ways.

When avoiding responsibility we tend to: Blame others, complain about things, feel hopeless, experience a conditioned helplessness, feel powerless, flow in the shallowness of life experiences, limit ourselves, and more.

As we have learned, taking responsibility for our lives is one of the best things we can do to improve the quality of our lives. A few of the many benefits are listed here.

Taking responsibility can: Increase our confidence, gain resilient for a sense of calm and peace, lessen dependent on others for our well-being, improve our health, reduce our stress, help us achieve our dreams, free us to see the good in everything, lead to better relationships with ourselves & others, improve accountability, open us to a life of peace, purpose, and happiness, etc.

Starting today, what will you do to take back responsibility for your life? Are you taking responsibility for everything in your life, regardless of what happens? Again, it’s up to you to take the first step.

In what areas are you:

• Complaining?
• Making excuses?
• Blaming others?
• Being a victim?
• Not being accountable?

Let’s apply what we’re learning. Consider the following statements of judgment, blame, and beliefs that aren’t so:

• They (or it) “made” me: think, feel, do, or be a certain way.
• I (or it) “made” them: think, feel, do or be a certain way.
• It’s their fault, not mine. I’m fearful, scared, and stressed. It’s part of me, and I can’t change it.
• Because of them, I have less: inner peace, joy, happiness, spiritual connection, growth, confidence, and so forth.

Have you ever asked yourself who owns the problem, you, or someone else? Who’s the one who is miserable in the situation? Rather than blaming others and things outside of yourself, take responsibility for the situation, while also taking your authority back. Notice…no one “makes us”. Our thoughts, feelings, and actions belong to us. So, instead tell yourself, “I allowed them to influence my way of being and the essence of who I am.” Then ask yourself, “Why did I agree to this, why did I choose it, and how can I take back my life?” Blaming others and making someone wrong and others right isn’t helpful, and it will never serve you well. You will only become more unconscious. Know that it’s the ego directing this behavior anyway. So, don’t blame yourself either; instead, change it. Start by recognizing and taking responsibility for these words to avoid. Remember, false beliefs are just beliefs and thoughts are just thoughts (e.g., they made me). We can take back the power they have over us. It’s only in our mind.

Give yourself grace as you grow and be proud of how far you’ve come. I hope you’ve enjoyed this blog. Please share it with someone. It just might be what they need to hear today. Come back for next month’s blog and…

For more insight, consider reading Chapter 2 “Personal Boundaries” in my book: “Breaking Free from the Ego: A Course in Finding and Freeing Yourself”.  https://amzn.to/3mC7vO9

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About the Author – Trina Carroll-Houk is a spiritual teacher, counselor, and founder of Breaking Free Boundaries, LLC who specializes in self-awareness, mindfulness, and the spiritual dimension of being. Her goal is to help people improve their quality of life so they can experience inner peace, meaningful purpose, and greater fulfillment. Trina represents a movement focused on helping people release what limits them from living in a higher dimension of spiritual consciousness.

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