Fear is a constant companion for most of us and blocks us from experiencing true inner peace. (part 2)
When was the last time you said yes when you wanted or needed to say no? Did you know the root cause of saying yes and not telling the truth, is fear? Fear is the driving force in most people’s life. Is it running your life? If it is, it can be harmful to your health. Let’s look at how our body handles fear when we become frightened. Most of the fear we deal with today is unrealistic fear. We’re rarely in danger of being eaten by animals as in primitive times, but instead, we think we need to protect ourselves from something as minor as a spot on our shirt or burping in public. Yet, most perceived threats, regardless of whether they’re realistic or not, creates a change in our brain that releases chemicals into our body as if it’s a life or death situation. It can cause many responses, such as: panic, alarm, fright, terror, agitation, discomfort, disturbance, trepidation, & more.
The chemical reaction in our body can create symptoms of a fight or flight reaction such as: a rapid heartbeat, faster breathing, perspiration, dry mouth, the jitters, muscle strength, etc. It’s the animal instinct that comes out to avoid danger, to run, hide or freeze. Over time this reaction can take a toll on the health of our body and compromise our well-being. When have you experienced this kind of reaction? Was it a real threat of bodily harm or was it the voice of fear in your head warning you that something bad might happen…maybe embarrassment, failure, or rejection?
The good news is that because our fears are learned, we can retrain our mind, emotions & body, to welcome these unrealistic disturbances inside us, that aren’t a real threat. Hence, we can actually release them rather than spending our lives living in fear of them. We don’t need our mind to tell us to fear. Our inner knowing and being will inform us of real danger; it’s instinctual.
“Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learn.” Marianne Williamson
Know that pain is the price of freedom…
Most of us today are trapped in fear. To overcome fear, we must be willing to experience pain or discomfort. Most of what we fear today only disconnects us from ourselves and the world. That separation results in more suffering. To break free, we first must choose between love and fear. We can’t do both at the same time. It’s a choice. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you can use fear to avoid pain or get ahead because it doesn’t work and will only drain you in the end. Likewise, we can’t grow when we’re afraid either.
In order to be healthier, we need to eliminate fear. Hence, we must learn to accept what we don’t like in life and then do what we can. Accepting the unacceptable with love allows our heart to be vulnerable and open once again. This is spiritual growth. It removes the blockages that cause our fear. Facing the pain, welcoming it, and allowing it to come to the surface is healing. Protecting or avoiding the pain keeps us stuck.
Once again, we only have 2 choices. Since we can’t solve fear with the mind, because the mind is creating it, we can either try to avoid it for the rest of our lives by living in fear and the need for protection 24/7, or we can clean out the pain, so we can be free. Since we know what it’s like to spend our lives protecting ourselves from fear of pain & repeating the insanity, let’s look at our second choice. In order to clean it out, we must separate from it and observe what’s going on. That means, we don’t fight fear or the fear of pain. We don’t avoid it either. The best way to not feel fear and its pain is to allow it to be. In that way, it will not be a threat anymore. We can then replace it with love instead. Remember, we can’t fear and love at the same time. Therefore, we can actually unlearn fear by practicing: recognizing it, opening our heart and loving like we’ve never loved before.
“There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear.”
Here’s my challenge for you. Remember that inner peace is the goal…
So, work on being at peace with all your inner disturbances. Know that…”This too shall pass.” When we hold on to something too tight, we close ourselves off from the blessings we could have been open to receive. Don’t cling, don’t stay in the comfort zone, don’t resist & don’t engage. It never works. We can’t control the world, but we can control how we respond. It’s your job to take care of you, so don’t resist. Emotionally accept what happens, no matter what and then decide what you need to do…which may be nothing. When you allow what is, you can then enjoy life without suffering.
Remember, don’t be tempted to close. Learn to open your heart &…not close. Never close your heart, no matter what. Instead, take back the authority over you and your inner peace. You can, you know. Haven’t you said yes enough? Face down that fear and know it’s on its way out. It will burn up by dissolving just a little more every time you allow it to come up, burn, and pass through. Know you’re not alone, & you’re not separate either. That’s the ego’s lie. So, don’t fall for it anymore. Say no to fear; Say “no ego”! Remember, there’s nothing to fear, but fear itself…let it go.
Next time you feel fear, take back your authority & try this…
First, recognize the fear, then relax, take a deep conscious breath, open your heart in love, release it, & rise above. You’ll be so glad you did.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this blog. Please share it with a friend. It may be exactly what they need to hear. Be sure to read Part 1.
About the author – Trina Carroll-Houk is a spiritual teacher & counselor who specializes in self-awareness and mindful awareness. She teaches her clients how to gain authority over their lives by recognizing, neutralizing, and moving beyond the ego voice of doubt that creates negative thoughts, challenging emotions, & reactive behavior that holds them back from living an authentic, peaceful and fulfilling life. Trina has a private practice in Largo, Florida where she offers individual and group sessions.
Visit her on the web at: https://breakingfreeboundaries.com/ or…
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Don’t forget to check out her other blogs & return to read the next one too: https://breakingfreeboundaries.com/blog/.