Living an undisturbed life isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity because our overall well-being depends on it. In today’s world, we’re faced with countless distractions, disruptions, and disturbances…that can make it nearly impossible to discover our natural state of inner peace. Yes, there is a place in us where no storms can disturb the peace we have deep inside. It’s a place where our mind is quiet while our heart is fixed, calm, and undisturbed. Our purpose is to find this place that has always been here waiting for our return. So, let’s begin our discussion by learning how to recognize disturbances and how to live undisturbed.
A mental or emotional disturbance can be described as feeling…upset, troubled, unhappy, worried, bothered, agitated, threatened, annoyed, unsettled, fearful, restless, anxious and more. While on the other hand, the state of being undisturbed can be described as feeling…unbothered, untroubled, peaceful, calm, steady, not minding what happens, being rooted in a peaceful state of being, being thought-free, etc. More specifically the undisturbed state is when we don’t listen to the ego mind…when it tells us things “should” be different. This is how life situations are turned into something good or bad. When we quiet our mind, we’re no longer troubled.
Clearly, none of the descriptions for being undisturbed mean we are uncaring. They simply mean that we don’t “mind” what’s happening. We’re not bothered by thoughts about our life situations nor burdened by them. When we realize that these thoughts don’t matter, we can drop them. However, we must pay close attention to the disturbances because they’re triggered by negative thoughts…followed by challenging emotions and reactive behavior. And, as we all know, it brings unnecessary drama with it. Thus, upset feelings can be an alarm to wake us up out of our thoughts. These challenges are our opportunity to grow beyond the upset.
So, next time you’re faced with feeling disturbed or upset, allow it to be an alarm for you to recognize and act rather than react. Ask yourself, will this matter to me in 20 years? If not, let it go. Let’s practice. Begin by recognizing what’s going on in your mind. It starts with judgment and negativity. Remember, we all do the best we can with what we know at the time. Then reconnect to your heart and relax your body by redirecting your attention to your breath. Release the trapped energy to rise above. Keep practicing being alert.
Know this for sure, if you leave your mind alone, it will leave you alone. Don’t follow it or be easy prey. Peace is the natural consequence of not minding what the mind is up to. So, don’t allow the ego to use you or trick you. If you do, it will take you over. This is when we become identified with it. Yet, if we’re aware of our thoughts…we can’t be our thoughts. Anything that we can label objectively obviously cannot be who we are.
It’s true, we are not our thoughts nor the ego. And, because this life belongs to us, we can close-up shop and redirect our attention and energy elsewhere. Thus, we must stop fueling the ego. It’s our responsibility to use inner boundaries to take back our ownership now. This realization and practice ends our disturbances in the mind because when we stop following them, they eventually dissolve on their own.
The mind has as much power as we give it, period. No more, no less. So, don’t give it away. It’s here to serve and support us. It should not be our master. As Osho put it, we have a choice, the mind can be…“a beautiful servant or a dangerous master.” Notice, we don’t have to go along.
We should never allow something or someone to disturb our inner state of being. This is our primary responsibility…to live in inner peace. The opening statement in the book, “A Course in Miracles” states: “Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.” This reminder has the power to return us again and again back to the truth…especially when we catch ourselves in a disturbed state of mind.
Mooji says…“No thought has any power. You have power. And when you identify and believe in the thought, you give power to the thought.” Remember, thoughts are not the same as thinking. We can think without following thoughts or experiencing negative thoughts. As we grow spiritually, this maturity will offer us more options to live beyond the mind and experience this great sense of inner peace we desire most.
As the Dalai Lama said, “All beings want to live in peace and happiness, undisturbed.” So, what about you? Do you want to discover this place in you that is undisturbed and free of upset?
Let’s apply what we’ve learned. One of the most effective ways to calm our mind is to question all thoughts rather than believe them. Then we can reassess the situation with an open heart to know how to deal with the challenge in the presence of what’s real and true. Thus, we need to question every troubling thought, one by one, until they all disappear.
Start by rephrasing your thoughts using the words should or shouldn’t to discover the belief behind the thought. Consider the following example:
Someone should or shouldn’t have _______ (fill in the blank).
- Thought: My sister didn’t call me yesterday.
- Belief: My sister should have called me yesterday.
- Other examples: It shouldn’t He should have helped me. She should be more patient. This shouldn’t be happening. I should know better.
The ego will tell you the situation shouldn’t have happened; but notice it did happen. Realize the ego wants you to deny reality by splitting it into right and wrong in order to blame the outside for your upset feelings on the inside. This is when we become the victim. Yet, we have a choice. When do you fall for an unfulfilled expectation that causes you upset?
Instead, observe your thoughts and life situations from a distance. Remember, you are life, and what you’re dealing with is the mind’s interpretation of a life situation. In this example, reality is the fact that your sister didn’t call, and she gets to decide how she lives her life. Recognize, it’s not personal. The truth is…nothing is personal.
Remember, don’t engage with the narrative in your head. Notice the facts here. Your sister didn’t call. That’s it. End of story…Yes, you can end the ego’s story in your head right now. This means, no stories, no judgment, and no upset either. In this way, we can stay in reality and neutralize the ego at the same time. This is how we end suffering. We quiet the voice of fear and doubt by allowing life to be as it is so we can move on to what does matter.
Be aware that when we use the words that indicate beliefs and judgment in our daily lives—such as “should” or “shouldn’t”, we need to be alert to the ego’s deceit and behavior. The ego will weave a story that’s hard to step out of. This is how we get drawn into the ego’s victim mentality. When was the last time you became the victim by believing something or someone “made you” feel upset or disturbed? As we’ve learned, the truth is…we alone have the power over how we feel.
Be sure to give yourself grace as you grow and be proud of how far you’ve come. I hope you’ve enjoyed this blog. Please share it with someone. It just might be what they need to hear today. Come back for next month’s blog and…
For more insight, consider reading Chapter * “Understanding Thought” in my book: “Breaking Free from the Ego: A Course in Finding and Freeing Yourself”. https://amzn.to/3mC7vO9
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About the Author – Trina Carroll-Houk is a spiritual teacher, counselor, and founder of Breaking Free Boundaries, LLC who specializes in self-awareness, mindfulness, and the spiritual dimension of being. Her goal is to help people improve their quality of life so they can experience inner peace, meaningful purpose, and greater fulfillment. Trina represents a movement focused on helping people release what limits them from living in a higher dimension of spiritual consciousness.
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