Recognize blame, so you won’t fall victim again.
We all have the power to stop being the victim of blame. Whether we’re falling for it or we’re losing our power & authority…we’re paying a heavy price.
Blame comes from the ego, not us, and it’s a choice. It makes someone or something wrong, while it creates division where there is none. This is how we become its victim. It’s negative and dual. Yet, the truth is, we all do the best we can with what we know at the time. That’s why it’s important to be aware of our mind activity and catch it before we become its victim.
Our mind is a gifted resource. It belongs to us and is supposed to serve us. Don’t be its victim. Instead, stop blaming someone or something else for the problems the ego creates in your life. It doesn’t work, and it will only backfire.
Have you ever said, “they made me” think something, such as, “I’m not good enough?”
If so, ask yourself why you agreed with someone else’s idea, why you chose it, and how you can take back your authority. Instead, take responsibility for your life. Rather than blaming others, try saying, “I allowed them to influence my thoughts” or “I made myself [think/feel/do/be] the way I am.”
Remember, only you can change your mind.
Again, know that blaming makes others wrong and us right, while at the same time it fuels the ego’s plan. The ego always has to be right. Know that there are no winners when it comes to blame.
Next time you say, “they made me think,” know that it’s not true.
It’s a false belief. Don’t fall for the lie. The truth is you believed it to be true somewhere deep inside yourself or you wouldn’t have allowed it to bother you in the first place.
Likewise, when people blame you for their stuff, don’t take it on.
We make ourselves weak when we blame others or anything else. It puts the power and the source of the problem outside us rather than inside where it resides. We can’t change what’s outside us, but we do have the power to change what’s inside.
When we realize it’s a choice and we recognize it in our lives…we know we have the power to change it.
Taking responsibility for our own behavior, thoughts and perspectives is how we reclaim our authority. Yes, we need to take responsibility and be accountable for our part, whatever it is and know that the rest is none of our business nor the ego’s.
Keep in mind, if it’s someone else’s responsibility, leave it there because that’s where it belongs.
We’re not responsible for other people’s thoughts, emotions or behavior, regardless of what they say or how much they blame us. Instead, inquire into your heart by asking yourself why you went along with the hurtful thought so that next time you can choose differently. If there’s something you need to work on, do the inner work to break free but not because of someone else. That’s your job and your real purpose in life.
Challenges are here to wake us up from living in the mind.
So, keep practicing…because it works! And, stop walking on eggshells and expecting others to do the same. If we want to live in inner peace, we must take responsibility for our own inner state.
Remember, our expectations or thoughts create the upset, not the situation.
It’s just a thing. Observe it, so you can take back your rightful authority today and stop being its victim. There’s no better time than now.
Consider answering the following questions for further growth.
Can you catch yourself saying, “they made me…”? Too many times, we allow what others say and do to determine how we behave versus taking our rightful ownership and responsibility for our lives. Rather than living outside-in, we can live inside-out. This is a choice.
Instead of blaming, ask yourself:
- Why did you allow others (outside/external) to influence your behavior? Explain.
- Did you say “yes” when your desire was “no”? When?
- What was your intention or your priority? Name one.
- Why did you agree, choose this, or go along?
- Were you trading needs? Consider.
- Were you afraid of a consequence? If so, what was the fear…or the worst possible result?
- Why did you make yourself do this? Explain.
- What did you get in return? Explore this possibility.
- How can you take back your authority? Identify one way.
- Do you allow yourself to experience your feelings? Why or why not?
Are you willing to be uncomfortable to break free? Can you even look forward to it, knowing it’s an opportunity for growth? Notice there’s power in not believing we’re a victim. Isn’t it time?
I hope you’ve enjoyed this blog. Please share it with someone else. It may be exactly what they need to hear to be free too. Come back for next month’s blog and…
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About the Author – Trina Carroll-Houk is a spiritual teacher, counselor, and founder of Breaking Free Boundaries, LLC who specializes in self-awareness, mindfulness, and the spiritual dimension of being. Her goal is to help people improve their quality of life so they can experience inner peace, meaningful purpose, and fulfillment. Trina represents a movement focused on helping people release what limits them from transforming into awakened beings with a higher sense of spiritual consciousness.
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“Breaking Free from the Ego: A Course in Finding and Freeing Yourself”
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