Ego’s dependency destroys lives…It’s a dis-ease created in the mind.
3 May

Ego’s dependency destroys lives…It’s a dis-ease created in the mind.

Do you ever feel a sense of lack, dependency, or not enough?

Most of us have at one time or another. The voice of fear and doubt comes over us like a dark cloud that’s sometimes hard to shake. This is how the ego runs and ruins our lives. When we experience this unnecessary suffering, it’s often coupled with health issues that further threaten our well-being.


It’s good to remember that the root of our suffering is unnecessary, and it’s generated by the ego.

It’s just a habit made up in our mind that we can overcome. Yes, we can overcome the ego if we’re willing to understand what’s going on and do something about it. That’s why it’s important that we understand the situation we find ourselves in so we can ultimately diminish the ego’s presence and false identity that is causing so much havoc in our lives.


“Why do you stay in prison when the door is wide open?”   ~ Rumi


The first thing we need to be clear about is what’s causing our suffering and who is responsible for ending it.

The truth is, the ego is the cause of our pain and suffering and we’re the only ones who can end it. So, know this for sure…it’s our job to be in charge of our lives. When we’re not, we suffer. Yes, we’re the one responsible for our physical well-being as well as the health of our inner state, and the suffering we endure when we’re not. Thus, we must be the one to make the changes needed to break free, to be free.


Let’s dig a little deeper here…

Because the egoic mind is so hungry, it’s has taken us over, and drives most everything we do. To survive, the ego uses our mind to create pain and suffering with its false thoughts, false beliefs, and false identities. It clings to external things for the highs it wants…that seem to satisfy our lack inside. Yet it’s a series of highs that never last, and the pain never ends.


Notice, nothing is stable here; it comes and goes, while each high is followed by a low.

Again, we suffer. In order to overcome this unrelenting drive for more…we must understand what these unmet needs are and know that they can only be satisfied “inside” where we dwell as our true self.


This roller coaster way of living is not our natural state.

These extremes only lead to more dependency, resistance, destruction, and despair while ultimately robbing us of our hopes, dreams, relationships, health, and future. We spend our lives waiting and wanting something else rather than enjoying what is. These desires and attachments only lead us toward more pain and suffering. This is exactly why we need to take authority over our lives now.


Let’s take a closer look at the “real” problem.

This dual state of mind comes from the ego’s dependent need for others, things, or the world to meet our unmet needs. This is how the ego feeds itself to stay alive. It’s dependent on us and wants us to believe we lack something and need to seek the solution or power outside ourselves.


Recognize…this is what we do. We live in a place of overdrive with little if any rest.

We spend our lives waiting to arrive in the next moment rather than living in our present reality now. In this place of lack and desire, we’re looking for something other than what we have. We “think” we’re not enough or we don’t have enough, and again, it’s still not true.


Yet, there is no lack nor the need for dependency and never has been.

Dependency and lack go together with the ego. The state of lack lives and is created in the mind where we find the insatiable ego. The ego tells us there isn’t enough…and there never will be enough. We’re so caught up in life situations and the race of doing, having, and wanting the next best thing in order to relieve the pain of “dependency, lack or not enough” deep inside our minds, that we miss the true fulfillment that’s available right here and right now.


This inner state of poverty blocks us from receiving the fulfilling life intended for us.

Again, all problems come from thoughts in our mind that are generated by the ego. Our mind is overused and misused, trying to survive the turmoil the ego creates. At the same time, we’re feeding it…only for it to renew itself for another round of suffering. Yes, the ego mind’s split identity and its dual nature keeps us stuck in unnecessary problems, fear, pain, and suffering.


As long as we live in this limited state, we’ll never have inner peace, only poverty.

This is how we remain lost in a virtual mind-world that’s filled with thoughts and beliefs that mean nothing. As we’ve learned, this empty way of life ends up destroying the very thing that means the most to us.


The truth is, we’re living in a psychological place the ego has created, one that we’re not aware of, and yet we’ve identified with it.

Again, it’s a habit that we’ve been taught over the years. Unfortunately, we’ve learned to identify with the ego, and we’ve allowed it to take us over. Hence, we’ve become it—yet, with the willingness to do our inner work we can overcome it.


Growth Opportunity Exercise:  

This is my challenge for you…

  • Don’t be a prisoner to the ego by depending on the things of this world for fulfillment.
  • Instead, try this next time you catch yourself “waiting” for more of something or someone…don’t.
  • Be present, rather than “waiting or being absent” in the experience at the moment…that is, don’t be lost in your mind.
  • Redirect your attention out of your mind, to be with the aliveness in your body and the joy of being.
  • It’s just a habit to want to be somewhere else or have what we don’t have, and it makes life miserable.

This is how we miss the joy of real life here and now.  So, don’t live life in your mind.  Live life right here, right now.

The door is wide open.

*Stay tune for next month’s blog.  Also, be sure to check out the helpful links below for the author’s book, monthly newsletter, website, earlier blogs, and other opportunities. 

I hope you’ve enjoyed this blog. Please share it with someone else. It may be exactly what they need to hear to be free too. Come back for next month’s blog and…

About the Author – Trina Carroll-Houk is a spiritual teacher, counselor, and founder of Breaking Free Boundaries, LLC who specializes in self-awareness, mindfulness, and the spiritual dimension of being. Her goal is to help people improve their quality of life so they can experience inner peace, meaningful purpose, and fulfillment. Trina represents a movement focused on helping people release what limits them from transforming into awakened beings with a higher sense of spiritual consciousness.

Checkout Trina’s book on most online retail sites such as Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or BookBaby Bookshop:

“Breaking Free from the Ego: A Course in Finding and Freeing Yourself”

Download PDF Book Sneak Peek:


BookBaby Bookshop:

Sign-up for Trina’s monthly newsletter today!

Visit her on the web at:

Follow Breaking Free Boundaries on: Facebook