Why do we take things personally? 
30 Jun

Why do we take things personally? 

Did you know that taking things personally is a sign of low self-esteem and reflects personal insecurity?

Yes, it’s true.  We take things personally because we agree with what was said.  Even if we only agree with one percent of what was said, we’re still sensitive to it.  Otherwise, we wouldn’t care.  We’d know it was ridiculous and not have another thought about it nor feel the need to protect ourselves. What people say can trigger past wounds, a belief of unfairness, and a feeling of being excluded or left out.  It may even be an unrealistic expectation.  Know that it’s all about how we judge ourselves and how we see things in our mind.  Because we judge ourselves, we get upset when others do the same.  We end up feeling offended, rejected, and angry.  We defend ourselves because we believe we need protection from a perceived threat on the outside.  Yet, the attack we take personally, has no real meaning unless we give it meaning.  The truth is, the threat is caused by our insecurity and the need for outside approval.  This vulnerability results in unnecessary pain and suffering.

Know that what people say is never about you…  

Even when people say it is, it’s not.  Really!  When people talk, they’re only talking about themselves.  That’s the truth.  We all live in our own world, made up of our own thoughts, past experiences, issues, and beliefs.  The way we communicate comes from how we were raised, how we deal with emotional issues, along with other things like our temperament, energy level, and health.  Remember, what others say is not about us.  If you doubt this, next time you take something personal, ask yourself how, might what they said apply to them rather than you.  You might be surprised.   

When we believe we’re not worthy, we attract critical people who judge, into our lives.  Our own insecurities can get the best of us by creating a greater belief in other people’s opinions over our own.  In this way, we are more susceptible to emotional pain because we abandon ourselves.  When we take things personally, we are allowing the poison of others into our world.  We accept what others say because we’re not clear on who we are, we haven’t taken our rightful authority, and therefore are not immune to the outside world.       

It’s important to know that there will always be those in life who won’t like you, those who will be neutral or just don’t care, and those who will just love you. 

The best thing you can do is focus on those who love you.  Being with positive people who truly enjoy your company will naturally improve your self-esteem and desire to serve.  So, support yourself and love yourself no matter what.  That’s your job; not someone else’s.  Don’t give away what’s your responsibility.  It belongs to you only.  No matter what happens, don’t take things personally.     

For greater insight, look for any possible assumptions. 

Be the watcher to reduce the seriousness of the situation so you can recognize and neutralize it.  Put a space around it to observe what’s going on from a distance.  Above all, ask for greater guidance to see things differently.  Remember, it’s just a life situation, not your life.      

I hope you’ve enjoyed this blog. Please share it with someone else. It may be exactly what they need to hear to be free too. Come back for next month’s blog and…

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About the Author – Trina Carroll-Houk is a spiritual teacher, counselor, and founder of Breaking Free Boundaries, LLC who specializes in self-awareness, mindfulness, and the spiritual dimension of being. Her goal is to help people improve their quality of life so they can experience inner peace, meaningful purpose, and fulfillment. Trina represents a movement focused on helping people release what limits them from transforming into awakened beings with a higher sense of spiritual consciousness.

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“Breaking Free from the Ego: A Course in Finding and Freeing Yourself”

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