Do you trust yourself enough?
1 Jun

Do you trust yourself enough?

Do you trust yourself? Trusting others is one thing, but trusting ourselves is something quite different, right? Logically, we know that we’re supposed to trust ourselves before anyone else, but do we? Instead, don’t we do the opposite? This makes perfect sense because building self-trust isn’t easy.

It’s true. Building self-trust is one of the most challenging growth steps we can take, yet it’s the most empowering. Learning to trust our inner self leads us to a better relationship with ourselves and it’s another way to discover our true authentic self within. Self-trust is also the key to growing our self-esteem, happiness, and fulfilling relationships. Since we all wish we had greater confidence in ourselves, let’s explore how we can learn to trust and accept ourselves unconditionally, no matter what comes our way.

Traditionally, to trust…we’ve relied on controlling things around us rather than seeking trust within. Yes, most of us try to control the outside to be ok on the inside. Yet, our hope and efforts are misplaced because our dependency on others and things we think will give us security, joy, and inner peace don’t. They can’t because the solution is on the inside. The truth is, we can only truly depend on what comes from within…our inner trust. This means we must practice being vulnerable by going inward. This is how we build our inner capacity or efficacy for our inner guide.

Once we learn to rely on our guidance that comes from within, we’re always safe and there’s nothing to lose. Remember, we all do the best we can with what we know at the time. Self-trust isn’t about trusting ourselves to know all the answers, nor is it believing that we will always do the right thing. Rather…it’s about accepting that we did what we knew was right at the time.

When we hang in there with ourselves, regardless of the outcome, we create space for us to learn and grow. This is the solid foundation we’re all looking for. In this way, we’re building confidence that no matter what happens, we did our best and we won’t abandon ourselves when things don’t work out as expected. This is how we live from the inside-out. The world changes, our thoughts and beliefs change, but our true self inside remains steady and unshakeable. Once we discover this truth, “it’s game over”…for the ego.

If you’ve been following my blogs, you know that to truly “be free” we must reclaim our inner authority…and building inner trust is a good place for us to start. No matter how challenging things might seem in life, freedom and peace are found inside. When we learn to seek the solution from within instead, we find rest. As we’ve been told, it’s wiser to build our foundation on a solid rock rather than on sinking sand. 

“Self-trust is the first secret of success.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Now let’s go deeper to explore what self-trust is as well as what it isn’t. So, let’s first define self-trust and what it means to us. Self-trust is the trust we have inside our inner being, that’s our true self. Typically, trust involves a relationship, but in this case, the relationship is with ourselves. Trusting ourselves is the reliance on our character, ability, strength, and truth that runs deep. It’s where our confidence, hope or dependence are placed. It’s having great faith in oneself, and one’s abilities.

Likewise, the lack of self-trust is not having confidence or self-esteem. In this place, there’s a lack of connection to the inner self. Notice, the focus is on the outside. We close our heart to sharing what’s most important to us because we fear being vulnerable. People who lack self-trust often feel: fear, unloved, or inadequate. They struggle with low self-esteem and are consistently afraid of making mistakes or letting people down.

So…do you trust yourself? We’ve all been let down in the past and certainly we’ve let others down as well, but have you ever let yourself down? Can you depend on yourself? Do you have the inner qualities to have confidence in yourself? If you don’t trust yourself, others won’t trust you either. This is why we must learn how to confidently depend on ourselves so we can love and trust ourselves regardless.

Yes, self-trust is what it takes to increase the probability that we will be able to trust ourselves enough to let our guard down. In this way, we can trust others because we trust ourselves to make good decisions at the time and know we can handle whatever comes. We do this by not abandoning ourselves, always being there for ourselves, and loving ourselves unconditionally. Inner self-trust is how we can better equip ourselves in the face of these challenging times.

We can build the capacity to trust ourselves by being willing to be vulnerable when challenged. As we’ve learned, our inner work requires letting go of personal control as well as opening our heart to vulnerability. We can’t control the world nor how things are going to work out in the end. So, instead, we must be willing to accept what is, knowing we always do the best we can and everything is exactly the way it’s supposed to be.   

So far, we’ve learned that self-trust is one of the most important steps in our personal and spiritual growth because it helps free us. Learning to love, accept, and trust ourselves completely isn’t an easy task for sure, but letting go of what is holding us back is what it takes to discover our inner ability to confidently depend on our own inner guide no matter what we face in life.

Let’s apply what we’ve learned. Isn’t it time we do something different today?

Consider the following reminders to start growing self-trust today.

Quick reminders:

  • Always be your authentic self.
  • Set reasonable goals.
  • Be kind to yourself.
  • Build on your strengths.
  • Spend time with yourself.
  • Be self-compassionate and self-forgiving.
  • Love yourself no matter what…Remember, your inner child is counting on you.
  • Establish healthy boundaries for yourself, with others & things in life.
  • Don’t cave on your values or what’s most important to you.
  • Be accountable and keep your word…especially with yourself.
  • Don’t blame. Instead, do what’s needed, if anything.
  • Be patient with yourself as you grow because you’re worth it!

Be sure to check out last month’s blog on the key traits of trustworthiness.

For more insight, consider reading Chapter 11 “Loving Yourself” in my book: “Breaking Free from the Ego: A Course in Finding and Freeing Yourself”.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this blog. Please share it with someone else. It may be exactly what they need to hear to be free too. Come back for next month’s blog and…

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About the Author – Trina Carroll-Houk is a spiritual teacher, counselor, and founder of Breaking Free Boundaries, LLC who specializes in self-awareness, mindfulness, and the spiritual dimension of being. Her goal is to help people improve their quality of life so they can experience inner peace, meaningful purpose, and greater fulfillment. Trina represents a movement focused on helping people release what limits them from living in a higher dimension of spiritual consciousness.

Checkout Trina’s book on most online retail sites such as Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or BookBaby Bookshop: “Breaking Free from the Ego: A Course in Finding and Freeing Yourself.”