Yes, you can learn how to stop taking things personal.
The key to not taking things personally is to know who you truly are, so you can love and accept yourself no matter what. In order to heal the unmet need you feel inside that you are seeking outside, you must connect to your own inner spiritual identity. The more you know yourself, the less you will need someone to tell you who you are and the less you’ll care about what they say. The fear and doubt will disappear as your dependency on others and things slowly diminishes. You’ll learn to no longer internalize what’s external. Your need for outside reinforcement will fade away as you build your own true inner sense of self. This is true because you become rooted in a firm foundation of your own personal resources and experiences rather than relying on the outside world to give you the security you think you need. As a result, things on the outside will no longer have the ability to disturb your life. So, if you are living from the outside in…rather than inside out, know there is another way to live.
Change your focus to depersonalize, disidentify, & detach…
Remember who you are and what belongs to you. We were gifted at birth with wonderful resources that we often don’t take ownership or authority over. These resources are our: mind, emotions, behavior, & body. Know that we’re responsible for our thoughts, feeling, behavior and well-being, but this is not where our identity resides. We are spiritual beings with a foundation much greater than these resources.
So, learn how to stop focusing your attention on the personal comments of others.
Too often, that’s what we do. We shift our attention from what “others say or do” and make it how “we feel”. Then we blame them for our decision to feel bad about ourselves or what they said. Sometimes we even go as far as to allow people to change the way we think or behave. In the end, we end up being the victim. Have you ever caught yourself saying “he made me think” this or that or “he made me feel or do” something? We all do it; it’s just a habit and it’s not true either. So, rather than drawing your attention to what people say or that inner voice of doubt, instead focus your attention on the aliveness in your body to anchor there. What people say is not a real threat. The fear you’re experiencing is just another one of the ego’s lies. Don’t fall for it.
Next time remember to leave other people’s opinions with them.
Don’t take it personal. Their opinions don’t belong to you anyway. When someone says something negative about you, know that it’s all about them and leave it there. Don’t engage with it, nor cling to it. Focus on the truth of who you are and trust what you know to be true deep down inside and not someone’s passing judgment. Don’t allow others to determine your emotional well-being. If you want to make worthy changes, do it…but not because of what someone else said. Stay on your own path. Your path is exactly where you are supposed to be.
Above all else, know that your true significance comes from God.
He created you and adores you. God lives in ecstasy just watching you. Let Him give you your rightful place on this earth. His plan gives you all the qualifications you’ll ever need. Other people’s opinions should never be valued over your own truth, much less God’s truth. I know from personal experience. The truth will set you free.
The truth is, you are: whole, worthy, safe, & loved…regardless of what the voice of fear & doubt says.
The empty hole you feel inside of “not being good enough” is the split you’ve created in yourself. You can make the split whole by filling it yourself from deep inside you. God has given you this authority. Know that you are not your mistakes; You are not defined by your mistakes, your behavior nor other people either. Besides, we’re all perfect in God’s eyes anyway. That’s all that matters.
Just know we’re all doing the best we can.
We can’t behave or live beyond our level of growth or consciousness. No one can. So, be kind to yourself. Give yourself grace and others too. When we know better, we can do better. That’s how we learn. Embrace your opportunities to grow, rather than fearing what is a natural part of life. Trust your inner self instead. No matter what, don’t abandon you by taking things personally…because it’s not. Let it go!
The first step in ending the real problem we face is to quiet the source of the problem; the mind.
We must stop taking it so seriously, to stop taking things personal. Since all problems are created in the mind, you can change the way you see the world by breaking free from the problem of fear & doubt in the mind. Changing your mind will change your life because it changes the way you think about things. Remember, your mind is only one of your resources and is not supposed to be in charge; you are.
So, start taking back your inner authority.
Take your inner authority back by quieting your mind. Try to stay in the present moment by accepting “what is”. Avoid all resistance, as it only creates unnecessary pain and suffering. In this way, you will be able to move toward a “now what” position for a peaceful resolution. Use meditation and deep conscious breathing to help you break the stream of thought to quiet your mind, so you can experience inner peace. This practice will draw your attention out of your mind and into the aliveness of your body, so you can live in the present moment. As a result, you will become more self-aware thus free.
Begin by committing to seeing things differently.
When you’re faced with a personal comment, an intruding thought or a limiting belief, be aware that it’s just an opinion, thought or belief from the mind and not you. Don’t assume it’s the truth either. It’s just a field of energy passing through. Let it pass.
Remember, you can learn how to stop taking things personal by knowing who you are & how to love yourself instead. Put yourself & God first in your life and all the rest will come together in perfect alignment.
I hope you’ve enjoyed this blog. Please share it with someone else. It may be exactly what they need to hear to be free too. Come back for next month’s blog and…
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About the Author – Trina Carroll-Houk is a spiritual teacher, counselor, and founder of Breaking Free Boundaries, LLC who specializes in self-awareness, mindfulness, and the spiritual dimension of being. Her goal is to help people improve their quality of life so they can experience inner peace, meaningful purpose, and fulfillment. Trina represents a movement focused on helping people release what limits them from transforming into awakened beings with a higher sense of spiritual consciousness.
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